Friday, December 11, 2009

on the 11th day of christmas...

I am running on empty. I am so tired and worn out from everything going on and I need some time out! Thinking of saying bugger the budget tonight and taking myself off for a pedicure (as well as a brow wax) before hubby's work xmas party tomorrow night.

Turns out Leroy is quite unwell - he went to school fine yesterday but last night woke up crying in pain. Took him to the after hours service at about 10.30pm and he has a middle ear infection. He's been on the AB's since Monday though so it's a bit odd, the when he woke up this morning he was totally fine (said it didn't hurt at all) and said he wanted to go to school for the last day. So I've sent him off with strict instructions for them to call me if anything is wrong. Only a few minutes drive away so that's good. But I'm sure he's fine (well hoping anyway othewise I'll have Mother Guilt as well on top of everything else!)

So that leaves me home with the little terror who has certainly had his cranky pants on this morning - took him grocery shopping and spent half the time trying to stop him eating every chocolate in sight (this kid is a chocoholic!!) that I forgot half the things I needed and will have to go back with both kids later on! arrgghhh!! I got a bit spooked last night after we had a severe thunderstorm and then I noticed there was a cyclone watch warning present out at sea north of Darwin - they don't think it will come this way but you just never know. And I realised we were totally un-prepared if one did hit. So went and bought a stack of non-perishable food items and put them in a big tub and will be hitting Bunnings ASAP for some other things like torches, masking tape (to tape windows) etc etc. We got through our first wet season here last year by not really doing any of this (and we were lucky there was not even a cyclone watch) but obviously we need to get ready! Actually the big slogan here is 'GET READY, GET THRU' & 'BE PREPARED, NOT COMPLACENT'  so that's what I'm doing!

Now what I WAS going to blog about today is the fact that today would have been my grandmothers 75th birthday. I wanted to share photos but I discovered hubby has packed them! She passed away on 31st March, 2003 aged 68. She was way too young. She had a severe degeneration of her brain stem - it was very sad. She got sick very quickly but the most tragic thing was that she knew in her head what was going on, and who everyone was, and what she wanted to do, she just had no control over it. 15 years ago today I was on an air-plane flying to Hawaii with her... she took me there to celebrate finishing year 12. We left the day after my year 12 formal and her 60th birthday lasted only a few hours mid air as we flew across the internation date line. I miss her every day and am so sad that she was never around to see my beautiful babies. Not that I don't believe she knows. I believe with all my heart that she knows all about them. I have had a few experiences since she passed.  When I was about 3 months pregnant with Leroy I had a very vivid dream - it was Dawn (that's what we called her) telling me I would have a baby girl called Isabella Dawn. From that day on I was certain he would be a girl, even ignoring the little tell-tale sign on the scan. She had only been passed for around 6 months at this stage. When he was born I just dismissed the dream and loved my baby boy. Then one night when I was up feeding him at about 4 or 5 months, I felt like I could feel her. When I went back to sleep I dreamt about her and about her beautiful gold watch (one of her fave things was to shop for jewellery in her travels to places like Hong Kong, Singapore etc)... and she was telling me in the dream to look at her watch. I woke up feeling as though she was telling me to stop holding onto her so much - it was her time to go. I cried and cried, especially as I just wanted my mum but she was in France.

When Leroy was about 18 months I got pregnant again and I had another dream with her telling me that I would get my Isabella Dawn. I lost this baby at 6 weeks. Another 18 months passed before I got pregant again and I also lost that one to an ectopic pregnancy - I really felt after all of that that I did indeed get my girls... of course there is no scientific proof to any of that or whether the babies I lost were in fact girls (as it was way to early to tell) It's just what I felt.

Last night I felt her again. At 3.20am the phone rang. It is right next to my side of the bed and I got it on the 2nd ring. When I answered there was only a dial tone, like I'd picked it up to ring someone. I could feel her immmediately - I cannot explain it but I know she is looking over me. Oh how I miss her  :(  I Love you Dawn xx


Here's another chrissy card I found I did the other day that I hadn't photographed, love it too. I've saved it to send to my friend here who lives in the same townhouse complex we are moving into! Exciting!  (too tired to work out side-ways images now but you get idea!)

Had grand plant to make marvellous teacher pressies but just totally ran out of time. Settled instead for a lovely bowl filled with chocolates and candy canes, wrapped in a chrissy tea towel and secured with a ribbon holiding a tree deco that Leroy chose (he always chooses this one - he likes to give his lady teachers diamonds, lol)


  1. Thinking of you today Tash and sending you hugs.

    Love the card and the lovely christmas present for the teachers. Love the "diamond" (you go Leroy lol).


  2. I'm thinking of you too Tash - I still miss my Nana too, she died a few months before I turned 21 - almost 21 years ago in fact. So wish she'd been around to meet my girls.

    Love the card, bet your friend will love it! And the present looks very cool too!


  3. Oh those memories make for such a nostalgic feeling....I am with you there Tash.

    Lovin' your blingy card.

    Love Deb xx

  4. Was a gorgeous pic of Isaac - love it:)
    I am sure your Nan is with you always sweetie and would be super proud of the Mum you are and your 2 little ones they are delectable :)
    Mwah and hugs

  5. I had experiences of my Nan too Tash and strangely my Nan referred to my unborn baby girl as Renae in my dream ... which means reborn.

  6. looks like you are ready for christmas tash love the photo its cute.....


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